Marriage: 5 Frugal and Simple Ways to Date Your Spouse--Wellofaith.com

Marriage: 5 Frugal and Simple Ways to Date Your Spouse

Marriage: 5 Frugal and Simple Ways to Date Your Spouse

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Why It’s Important to Date Your Spouse

According to Christine Hammond, a counselor who has personally worked with over a thousand couples, it’s important to date your spouse because:

In the beginning, the reason for dating is to get to know someone better to see if this is a good fit. After marriage, the reason for dating to know your spouse better to ensure a good fit. The best explanation I’ve heard is that dating prior to marriage is the equivalent of an elementary education of a person. The education should not stop there. Rather, it should be just beginning with a desire to have a Ph.D. level of understanding of your spouse.

With this in mind, it is important to make time to be a couple again; to take off the “mom” hat and take time to embrace the role of woman and wife.

Finding Time to Date Your Spouse

Between over-time hours and commuting (my husband), and children’s activities, keeping up with the house, and homeschooling (me), dating my spouse rarely happens in our family.

Marriage: 5 Frugal and Simple Ways to Date Your Spouse--wellofaith.com

I’m aware of the damage this can cause, and I’m working to remedy my tendency to focus on tasks instead of on building a lasting relationship with my husband.

Knowing I need to make time for this important aspect of married life, I’ve been considering how to “find” the time.

What it comes down to isn’t that I need to “find” the time.

I need to use the time I already have. I must decide that stoking the fire in our relationship is more important than folding another load of laundry, or even taking a shower.

Although, I think being clean might be a bit more of an aphrodisiac than limp hair and baggy shirts covered in baby snot and dog fur.

I could be wrong, but I doubt it.

Step Away From Social Media

If you’re like me, I can lose track of time scrolling through social media.

I’ve cut my social media consumption way back, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not using up perfectly good “date” time by wiling away uncounted minutes looking at Instagram posts.

Skip Your Workout

I’m not saying fitness is a waste of time (it’s not), but if you’re having a hard time “finding time” to connect with your other half, skipping it one day a week won’t destroy your hard work or set you back.

After all, being healthy is more than just having muscles and visible abs.

Put a Movie on For the Kids

I’ll preface this with saying: I’m not a proponent of children watching television.

Do mine watch TV?

Yes.

Does it make me want to toss the giant box with moving pictures out a window?

Always.

However, there are times when treating the children to a new movie rental, or an old favorite can give you just enough time to have a quick date with your spouse.

You won’t even have to find a sitter.

Put It On The Calendar

If something is on the calendar it is harder to push to the side or ignore. This also has the added benefit of creating anticipation. It allows you to think about the upcoming date with the enthusiasm a date deserves.

5 Frugal and Simple Ideas for Dating Your Spouse

Marriage: 5 Frugal and Simple Ways to Date Your Spouse--Wellofaith.com
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

With that newly allotted time you have, here are a few possibilities with what you can do.

Floor Picnic

Spread a blanket on your floor, grab some crackers, cheese, and your favorite beverage; splurge on dark chocolate and seasonal fruit.

With the kids in front of a movie or sleeping, this is a simple and romantic way to reconnect with your spouse.

Lock your screens away and get to know each other again.

This is not the time to discuss “important” things. Those can wait.

Cocoa Under the Stars

One of my favorite things to do is to sit out on our porch and drink cocoa.

Now that the temperature has dropped below sauna and is feeling more like Autumn, I’m looking forward to some quality dates with my spouse and my favorite warm beverage.

Consequently, I have a nice supply of different cocoa varieties I’ve received with my subscription to Coffee and a Classic.

Luckily for me, they were willing to change it from coffee to cocoa, so I’ve been enjoying their products for the last year.

Watch a Favorite Show

Put those little loves to bed or down for a nap (since my husband works nights we have to be a lot more flexible with date times), pop some popcorn or go all out and make finger foods; then sit back and relaxed together–snuggled up of course–to catch up on all those episodes that have been waiting for you.

This of course should go without saying, but those handheld screens we’re always connected to–they need to be far, far away.

Play a Game

We have a closet full of board games and card games. I have high hopes to one day do weekly family game nights.

Right now with two kids under 6, they’re a bit hit or miss. I have goals though. We’ll get there.

Until then, these games can be utilized for date night.

It’s simple to set up and put away, and if you have a closet filled with them already–entirely free.

You can make this as simple or fancy as you’d like.

Add dinner or dessert, to add an extra dose of special to your evening playing “Clue”.

Complete a Bible Study

Since marriage is a covenant we make to each other and to God, it is important for us to stay connect to Christ as well.

There are several really great Bible studies we’ve done together in years past.

They’ve done more for us than any dinner and a movie in town could.

This doesn’t have to be one done with a group.

In fact, it would be perfect to do together in the comfort of your home, and can fit into short periods of time.

The important thing when it comes to dating your spouse, is that you’re connecting with them. You’re getting to know who they are today, because let’s face it, we’ve all changed since we said “I do.”

Selection of Bible Studies:

I’m not an expert on marriage or even on keeping up a great relationship with my husband. I am however, determined to rectify that. I hope these ideas help you find frugal and simple ways to date your spouse too.

Until next time,

wellofaith

If you enjoyed this post, please check out my article on how the military life strengthened my faith in God.

Follow me on Instagram for sneak peeks of upcoming blogs, and behind the scenes of my real life.

Marriage: 5 Frugal and Simple Ways to Date Your Spouse--wellofaith.com
God +Love > Sweatpants--wellofaith.com

Fallen World “Beauty”: God + Love is Greater Than Sweatpants

God+Love > Sweatpants

This article was originally posted in 2015.

This is Why the World Can’t Have Beauty

Recently I stumbled across and interview Eva Mendes gave where she stated that the end of a marriage can be directly related to the wife wearing sweatpants.

If you want to read the original article that led to this posting click here.

Say what?

Normally, I don’t pay a lot of attention to what celebrities talk about.

I especially don’t tend pay attention to celebrities who feel qualified to give marital advice when they’re not married.

However, reading many of the comments linked with these articles on social media made me reconsider.

In Society Today, Beauty is Only Skin Deep

There are a lot of women–too many women–who feel Eva Mendes is correct.

They believe in this day of Photoshop and plastic surgery what a wife wears is the true key to the longevity of their marriage.

I need to clear this up.

For everyone.

Or, at the very least, for the people who read my weekly ramblings.

What We Wear At Home Should Not Be a Deciding Factor in the Strength of Our Relationship With Our Spouse.

God+Love>Sweatpants--wellofaith.com
No, this isn’t my husband or me. It is a great photo, and captures exactly what should connect a husband and wife.

Marriages are a contract, yes, but they’re a contract that should be tied to a deep and abiding love and faithfulness– to not only our spouse, but to God.

When I got married, I distinctly remember the minister mispronouncing my short name, but getting my husband’s long, long, long name correct. the words, “for better or for worse” among the words my husband and I repeated.

I’m sure there are people who will smirk and say, “For better or for worse doesn’t have anything to do with bad style choices.” I disagree. Completely.

If my husband’s love for me were directly tied to the way I looked, our marriage would have ended years ago.

I may not wear sweatpants, but I also don’t wake up each morning before my husband so he doesn’t see me without my ‘face’ on.

For that matter, I rarely wear make-up, so there’s that.

He’s seen me with bedhead, fighting the stomach flu.

I’ve had chronic migraines, that have done nothing for the way I look; and long ago, he saw me when I drank too much.

None of these sights were pretty, and they’re all a heck of a lot worse than him seeing me in a pair of sweatpants.

Love Isn’t About the Way You Look, It’s About the Connection You Have With Someone’s Heart.

Love is the butterflies you get in your stomach when you know you’re going to see them; it’s the comfort their presence brings you, without them saying anything.

It’s knowing that you don’t have to doll yourself up all the time to impress them, because they’re impressed with the way God created you.

God+Love>Sweatpants--wellofaith.com
I can guarantee I’m wearing work out leggings in the picture. Possibly baby spit too. Also, pretty sure my three year old is wrapped around my leg.

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

1 Peter 3:3-4

They don’t love you because of the adornments you use to be fashionable or beautiful for a materialistic world.

I understand what she ‘might’ have been trying to say.

Women Should Take Pride in Themselves.

The biggest problem with associating this with a type of pants, is that people miss the bigger picture.

Pride in yourself is fine–as long as you remember everything you have is God’s.

Be careful about having too much pride in your good looks, your perfect body, or the clothes you wear.

All of those things are fleeting.

The beauty God created inside you–your heart and soul–those are where the true strength of your marriage will come from.

So, ladies if you feel like your husband (or boyfriend) will leave you if you don’t look your best, walk away.

He’s not the one for you.

Don’t sell yourself short for someone only interested in the outer trappings.

Find that person who will love you even when you’re looking your worst, because he’ll see the beauty God created.

Besides, no one wants to be worried about their hair or make-up at two in the morning–when they’re in labor.

No one.

Trust me.

God + Love > sweatpants. Always.

Until next time,

wellofaith
God+Love>Sweatpants--wellofaith.com

God’s Work in My Family

Since the day I got down on my knees and asked Jesus to guide me through this life, to save me from the person I’d become, and to fill me with his Holy and loving Spirit, I’ve seen my life change before my eyes. Some days are easier than others, but each day brings me closer to His presence.

It doesn’t end there, though. I’ve seen His work in others in my family as well. I’ve seen it in the way my daughter is growing; always thinking of others who might not have the things she does. She always searches for ways to be of help, either to me, her brother, or a little kid at the park who seems lonely.

God isn’t just working in her life. He’s working in the heart of my husband as well. In the beginning he went to church, because it was what I wanted to do, and he wanted to be there for me. He didn’t care which church we went to, and would have preferred if I’d chosen a Catholic church. I didn’t, and I don’t ever regret that decision.

He has become a different person. He no longer attends church just because I want to. In fact on those days when I’ve become too overwhelmed by people and desperately want to stay home and spend solitary time with the LORD, he’ll motivate me to get dressed and go (sometimes even he can’t get me to go for fellowship, because sometimes I just need the silence and the personal time with my Bible and the LORD).

Recently, I feel God placed in his heart something I never could have on my own. My husband felt called to volunteer, and he looked into opportunities and found the one that he felt in his heart the LORD was leading him to. On Monday night he spent time at a men’s home helping with dinner, and spending time getting to know the men living there. He came home tired but filled with a new light. I look forward to the changes the LORD brings to my family and myself.

Praise the LORD!